I think I am getting myself back on track. At least a little.
We went to Mocca this weekend, and before that we went to a meetup at a bar for female comic artists. I spent the weekend pretty surrounded by arts and artists, all working doing the thing that they love, that I used to love, that I want to love again and that I want to love doing for a living. I met a few people who'd graduated from SVA's animation dept., like I had. They had all run into the same trouble of being ill-prepared and burned out, but they had overcome it and gone for comics instead of animation. I hadn't overcome. Was there shame? Yeah, more than an ounce. But I needed it. I kept a strong face and talked with them despite it. And I drew. I drew pretty well. I think if I keep it up, I can start building my art again.
I've played with the idea of a webcomic for years now. I think it would be really helpful for me to go for it. Something simple will have to do for now. I realize that not everyone will go for my happy talking animals, and such a thing might attract the ::ahem:: wrong crowd, but there are anthro comics out there like Ozzie and Millie or Lackadaisy that have a universal appeal, beyond just "furries". I believe I'm capable of that. Also, I love drawing my cartoon animals, and this will be about doing what I love.
Also, the commissions that you guys have given me will be good for forcing me to do artwork toward a deadline and for the money. Here they are in order received, so you guys will know where we stand:
Fernchu: Scuplture commission, design approved and wireframe is being constructed
MJP: Poster, still waiting on an email with detail info.
clown_donkey: K-On! pic, still waiting on info/details.
Other stuff: I put a hold on frivilous spending and put all extra $$ into my savings. The money I've saved up already has re-granted me the confidence that I can still go to Otakon, though it won't be as easy. This also gives me the confidence to save for other things in the future, like a new laptop to replace poor Shiny.
My Japanese Coach for the DS has been gradually teaching me beginner's Japanese. This is a slow start, but it's the realization of another of my dreams. Once I'm through with it (which will be a while from now), I'm going to start looking at classes. I will learn it.
I now have a ton of stuff to look forward to; a lack of which had been feeding my fragile slip into depression. I've made two new friends over the weekend and I WILL keep in touch with them. Natalie and I were invited to Beacon this coming weekend, we're going to see Brooke and Jen the following weekend, Otakon is coming next month and so is a party my sister is throwing for fun. I'm also excited by drawing and by learning Japanese.
I also want to make myself a new Deviantart and maybe a blog elsewhere, and I want to start a website for my art in the future.
I know myself, and I know that I can become complacent and slip out of this good pace just as easily as I slipped into it. Part of my reason for posting this is so that all of my friends can see, and so that I'll hopefully feel too ashamed to batter myself back down to complacency again.
Here's hoping. I've got faith.